Tuning into My Inner Soundtrack

I’d turned to my piano, when I wasn’t able to dance, telling myself it was a substitute. So, after I'd started taking dance classes again, I didn't feel compelled to continue with my music. My piano got dusty. But recently, when I heard my own songs again, I reconnected to something that I'd left behind, a sense of resonance.

It’s something I can’t quite explain. And the closest description is a feeling of “waking up”. It’s a shifting of focus, and improves my ability to “see” with my inner eye. I noticed that, while my drawings focused on characters, my music sought out landscapes (water, rain, bells). And that brought me to a new vantage point. I call it "Tuning into my inner soundtrack". It feels like remembering something I’d forgotten, so there’s a sense of coming home.

I think that I let go of it because I felt out of step with the music that I hear commercially. In this age of constant media, it’s easy to compare ourselves unfavorably with what’s out there. Now I realize that’s kind of the point. I wouldn’t be able to find my songs; so I’d have to create them for myself.

I wanted to post this piece, written and performed by my cousin, who is a major creative influence in my life. Her song "Don't Let the Song Go Out of Your Life" reminds me that I need to hang onto my unique experience.

Don't Let the Song Go Out of Your Life by Eileen Uchima